Coming out of the Closet Victims of Sexual and Domestic Violence and the Non-traditionally Sexually Oriented


The sun will come out, tomorrow

Coming out of the Closet

Victims of Sexual and Domestic Violence and the

Non-traditionally Sexually Oriented

©2004 Rev. Kimberly Hartfield, B.S.

        We have often heard the phrase coming out of the closet from many in the non-traditionally sexually oriented group.  From a Christian standpoint, coming out may not be such a bad idea.   It rings with a truth Christ once said, and you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.  The problem with any sin is that while it is hidden from view, either from ourselves or from others, then it cannot be properly dealt with.  But when we accept the truth of our sins, and seek the help of God and others to help us deal with them, then we can eventually overcome them.  Scripture tells us that it is good for people to not walk alone, for if they fall, there will be someone there to help them get up.  When we acknowledge our sins to God and then with His help bring our sins into the knowledge of the Christian community for compassion and help, then we can free ourselves of the burdens that so often keep us hiding in the closets of spiritual immaturity, shivering at the thought of what others may think of us.

Silent Screams: A Treatise on Sexual Violence

Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Rape, and Domestic Violence could apply these truths to their own circumstances.  So often their perceived shame keeps them in the closet and will not allow them to get the help they so desperately need to deal with the assault on their persons.  Perpetrators of abuse could also apply these truths and voluntarily disclose their abuses to Christian based agencies who can advocate between them and law enforcement agencies to get them the help and accountability they need to stop further abuses.  The truth is that almost all perpetrators were once victims of abuse or violence themselves.   Most have simply not dealt with their own abuse and so continue the cycle of abuse on others who are more vulnerable than themselves.  If we, as Christians, could have in place a system that would allow perpetrators to come forward and seek help without fear, then we could nearly break the cycle of abuse.  Victims and perpetrators alike could gain a more psychologically healthy lifestyle by coming out of the closet, as long as their motive is to seek help from the Christian community in the grace of God.       The non-traditionally sexually oriented group from which this terminology is borrowed, could also apply the Christian precept behind their coming out of the closet stance, if their purpose is to seek the mercy and love of the Christian community, who may be able to help them out of their self-destructive lifestyle.  Scripture tells us that we should confess our sins to one another and pray for one another that we may be healed.  But if their purpose is to flaunt their sin in the face of God and mankind then it may not be in their best interest, as they will certainly experience negative feedback.  The truth about this community is that there is often some early history of abuse (sexual or otherwise) that predisposes them to seek the love and attention of their same sex, rather than that of the opposite sex.  Those who have a non-traditional sexual orientation (including gays, lesbians, and pedophiles) should seek the help of the Christian community to overcome this powerfully addictive and destructive deviant behavior.  And the Christian community should embrace those that seek their help to leave these self-destructive and abusing lifestyles behind them, yet without upholding their deviant behavioral choices.

Don’t Be Silent: Stop Domestic Violence

It should be remembered that all people have deviated from God’s norm at sometime or another in their lives, and that all people are overtaken by some seemingly uncontrollable habitual sin at least once in their lifetime.   To pretend that this is not the case, and that we don’t all need help from others at some point in our lives when we are unable to help ourselves, is what the scripture refers to as abiding in darkness, for there is none without sin, no not one.  When we refuse to accept the fact that we are all sinners and that even the best of us have all come short of the glory of God, we are in spiritual need of a mind altering experience (salvation).  Sinners by nature need to acknowledge their sin to God and mankind, in order to overcome the strongholds of that sin in their lives.  If we continue to abide in the darkness and secrecy of sin, then we cannot freely live in the light of Christ.  If we attempt to hide our sin in the recesses of our souls, the fear of being exposed to our peers will always abide with us.  We will forever be asking ourselves, “what will people think of me if they really knew me”.  Yet when we acknowledge our specific sins to God and our family in Christ, and the fact that we need a little love, mercy, and accountability to help us overcome it, then we begin to live freely in the light of our blessed Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.  Without the fear of exposure and the truth that both God and our Christian family loves us in spite of our sin when we are repentant, sin loses much of its stronghold of power over our lives.  But this Christian love and mercy must not be without accountability for our choices with their resulting consequences.   Just as God shows us forgiveness, love, and mercy, often we still face the consequences of our decisions.  When we continue in habitual sin, self-destructive or abusing patterns of behavior, we will eventually reap what we sow, and the harvest is always greater than the seed sown.  And so coming out of the darkness of our sin closet, and into the light of the truth of Christ, is a good thing.

About mamaheartfilled

I am a mother of eight wonderful children and three grandkids, who I am very proud of. I am also a bi-vocational ordained evangelical minister, and a Christian Counselor. I received my B.S. degree in 2004, studying primarily in the areas of Psychology, with minors in Religion and English. I received my Masters Degree in 2009 in Psychological Counseling with an emphasis in Christian Counseling. My ministry is geared toward victims of sexual and domestic violence, including victims of childhood sexual abuse, whether currently or in the past. Since I have personally experienced the healing hand of God in overcoming many of the life issues that Christians may face, I feel qualified and compelled to discuss them in a truthful and open manner, as God’s word tells us that “We shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free.” God has brought me through such diverse tribulations as sexual, physical, and mental abuse, being a victim of a drunk driving accident, spousal pornography addiction, adultery, divorce, remarriage, a very brief, though unjust, incarceration, and having experienced multiple miscarriages and various other trials. I have been asked to leave two Southern Baptist Churches, due to my being a female, ordained as a minister, and fired from a SBC sponsored Christian School (mostly white) for speaking out against racial prejudice in the Family of God. Through God’s merciful forgiveness of my own sins and inadequacies and God’s grace given to me to forgive those who have been a stumbling block to me, I have overcome many of these adversities. God’s word tells us that “All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to the purposes of God." Since I have this hope, I believe that God has blessed me with the ability to confront and relate these issues to the Christian community, and that I have been called to the homeland mission field of North America. I hope to be able to use my personal experiences as a ministry of God’s grace and in the comforting of the people of God with the truth of God's mercy. I claim II Corinthians 1: 3 & 4 as my calling, which states: “Blessed be God, the Origin of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Origin of mercies, and the God of comfort; who comforts us in all our troubles, that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble, by the comfort we ourselves have been given by God.” As I have received the gift of God’s healing, I hope to be able to bring the peace beyond understanding to others with the message of God’s mercy and grace. My love for the Sovereign Lord of my life, Jesus Christ, along with my passion for writing has drawn me to explore these commonly experienced crisis issues from the perspective of my own experience in the hope that I may bring an empathetic and compassionate insight to God’s people. I am now a published author and have several books in publication, including my autobiography, "A Little Redneck Theology." The views expressed in my writings are strictly my own insights, acquired from personal experience and diligent study of the related topics and God’s word concerning them. Though I am an ordained minister, my views should not be considered authoritative. I believe that the Christian community’s ultimate authority is the guidance of the human heart by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.
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