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Thorns on the Bud
Domestic Violence from a child’s perspective
I cried with mama’s hot tears
I sighed with mama’s breathless prayers
I felt the numbness of mama’s fears
I knew the heaviness of mama’s cares
I heard all his repentant lies
But they were prickly thorns on the bud
I iced mama’s blackened eyes
And washed her warm drying blood
I deafened my resounding ears
I blinded my visionless eyes
My mind aged beyond its years
I wore my masked disguise
I tried my best to quietly pretend
That my heart really wasn’t crying
While I silently tried to defend
The child inside slowly dying
His voice thundered with lightening glazes
While our silence screamed with megaphones
His raging breath spit in our faces
Sticks and stones breaking no bones?
Day after day we played our respective parts
Our hearts still cried while our faces smiled
A Mother’s broken bones, a child’s broken heart
The child of the mother is the mother of the child
My God, My God, why have You forsaken us?
Open your omniscient eyes and hear our silent cries
How long must this violence be so unjust
Lift up Your mighty hand and unbind unholy ties.
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About mamaheartfilled
I am a mother of eight wonderful children and three grandkids, who I am very proud of. I am also a bi-vocational ordained evangelical minister, and a Christian Counselor. I received my B.S. degree in 2004, studying primarily in the areas of Psychology, with minors in Religion and English. I received my Masters Degree in 2009 in Psychological Counseling with an emphasis in Christian Counseling. My ministry is geared toward victims of sexual and domestic violence, including victims of childhood sexual abuse, whether currently or in the past. Since I have personally experienced the healing hand of God in overcoming many of the life issues that Christians may face, I feel qualified and compelled to discuss them in a truthful and open manner, as God’s word tells us that “We shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free.” God has brought me through such diverse tribulations as sexual, physical, and mental abuse, being a victim of a drunk driving accident, spousal pornography addiction, adultery, divorce, remarriage, a very brief, though unjust, incarceration, and having experienced multiple miscarriages and various other trials. I have been asked to leave two Southern Baptist Churches, due to my being a female, ordained as a minister, and fired from a SBC sponsored Christian School (mostly white) for speaking out against racial prejudice in the Family of God. Through God’s merciful forgiveness of my own sins and inadequacies and God’s grace given to me to forgive those who have been a stumbling block to me, I have overcome many of these adversities. God’s word tells us that “All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to the purposes of God." Since I have this hope, I believe that God has blessed me with the ability to confront and relate these issues to the Christian community, and that I have been called to the homeland mission field of North America. I hope to be able to use my personal experiences as a ministry of God’s grace and in the comforting of the people of God with the truth of God's mercy. I claim II Corinthians 1: 3 & 4 as my calling, which states: “Blessed be God, the Origin of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Origin of mercies, and the God of comfort; who comforts us in all our troubles, that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble, by the comfort we ourselves have been given by God.” As I have received the gift of God’s healing, I hope to be able to bring the peace beyond understanding to others with the message of God’s mercy and grace. My love for the Sovereign Lord of my life, Jesus Christ, along with my passion for writing has drawn me to explore these commonly experienced crisis issues from the perspective of my own experience in the hope that I may bring an empathetic and compassionate insight to God’s people. I am now a published author and have several books in publication, including my autobiography, "A Little Redneck Theology." The views expressed in my writings are strictly my own insights, acquired from personal experience and diligent study of the related topics and God’s word concerning them. Though I am an ordained minister, my views should not be considered authoritative. I believe that the Christian community’s ultimate authority is the guidance of the human heart by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.
