Puberty is the physical process of growing from a boy to a young man. At sometime between the age of 9 and 18, but usually around 14 years of age for most boys, your body will begin to change to look more like that of an adult. Puberty usually begins later in boys than in girls, who usually begin to mature between 10 and 12 years of age, so you may be shorter than most girls your own age for a while. Some boys may begin to change before or after their friends, but this is normal in most cases.
Some of the changes you can expect are hair growth in the genital area (private area), under the arms and on the face, height and weight, adult sized hands and feet, voice deepening, and a more muscular appearance. At this time your reproductive system matures and you’re physically able to make a baby. Your body begins to produce sperm cells (reproductive cells), which cause pregnancy when coming into contact with a female egg cell during sexual intercourse.
At this time, you may begin to have erections (hardened penis) caused by blood flow to the penis. You may also ejaculate (release seminal fluid and sperm from the penis) while you sleep or when becoming sexually excited. These are natural and normal body functions and aren’t harmful. You may begin to masturbate (rub yourself for sexual excitement) and look at pornography (pictures of nude women) but these can be addictive habits and may possibly interfere with intimacy in future relationships. If one or both of these things interfere with other more important activities, you may have a problem and need help from a counselor or other professional.
During Puberty, you may begin to have crushes on girls and even women that you know. You may even begin to have sexual feelings that confuse you. Both of these things are normal. You may know that it’s considered by most Christians to be wrong to have sex before marriage, but also be tempted by the worldly influences that surround you to become sexually active before you’re ready. At some point you’ll have to decide what your own values are and whether or not you’ll follow the Biblical guidelines of God’s Law. God’s word teaches that sex is reserved for marital unions and if a couple has sex before marriage they should get married right away.
If you choose not to follow these guidelines, you’ll likely suffer needlessly the emotional and physical consequences of your decision. You may get someone pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD), the least of which are very uncomfortable and some of which are fatal. No form of birth control is 100 % effective against pregnancy and most don’t protect at all against STDs. Condoms are handed out like candy in public schools and other institutions these days, but condoms slip off and break sometimes. In either case, you’re not protected from an unwanted pregnancy, nor an STD, not to mention emotional consequences when relationships break up unexpectedly.
Having sex carries great responsibilities for both partners, including physical, emotional, and financial responsibilities. Young people have had to forgo college and get a job to pay child support or marry the mother and take care of her and the baby. It’s not merely the mother’s responsibility when she gets pregnant. Abortion, which has great emotional consequences, should not be considered an option if you and/or the mother are Christian.
Contrary to popular opinion, everyone your age is not having sex. The ones who are having sex are the ones who are endangering themselves and others needlessly. Don’t let yourself be pressured into having sex before you’re physically and emotionally ready and don’t pressure anyone else to have sex either. Sex doesn’t equal love. Demanding sex as proof of a girl’s love should never happen. Neither should forcing a girl to have sex be a part of a Christian lifestyle.
Rape is against God’s law and against man’s law, a crime punishable by law. And be aware that you, even as a boy, can be raped by an older man, anally. If this happens to you, it may confuse you sexually and you may be tempted to think you are homosexual. One or more of these experiences doesn’t make you a homosexual, especially if you were forced or coerced into it. Even if you didn’t try to fight him off, out of fear or whatever reason, you are not at fault, and you are not homosexual. If this has happened to you, report it to authorities and get tested for STD’s. Seek out a trusted adult to help you.
Silent Screams: A Treatise on Sexual Violence now available. Also available on Kindle.
It’s always best to make a lifelong commitment in a marital relationship before having sex. God’s way is always the best way! Remember, the only birth control that is 100 % effective against unwanted pregnancy, and protects you against STDs is total abstinence (doing without sex), which is God’s plan for us before marriage. In the Bible King David committed adultery with Bathsheba, and had to suffer great consequences as a result. He repented of his sin and God forgave him, but didn’t erase the consequences of his sexual sin. His child died shortly after birth. If you have already had sex, you can start over with God’s help. God will forgive any unwise decisions you’ve made, though you may still face consequences as a result of your prior choices.
Puberty is a time of great physical change and heightened emotional responses, so protect yourself from the emotional and physical consequences of having sex too early and outside of the marital context by choosing to stay pure. Most young boys, who insist they are mature enough to have sex, are not mature enough, nor financially responsible enough to settle down and raise a baby when faced with that situation. And most don’t want to contract an STD either. Remaining pure until marriage is probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but the rewards will be great when you succeed. Having saved yourself for your future spouse, will be the best thing you ever gave to yourself and her, not to mention the joy of your dedication of yourself to God.
Purity Rings for your child or yourself
- Puberty: Girls Growing up Pure
- Good Reasons for Sexual Abstinence (everydayhealth.com)
- STDs 101 (everydayhealth.com)
- Teens and Sex on TV (gofishministries.wordpress.com)
- Different stages of puberty stages in boys in pictures (henrywheeler1.typepad.com)