If I don’t want to lose my virginity, is it safe to have oral and anal sex?

If I don’t want to lose my virginity, is it safe to have oral and anal sex?


Young women have been told so many lies about sex it’s hard for them to know what’s true anymore.  They’ve been told that you can have oral or anal sex and it really isn’t sex, and you can still be a virgin.  Though you may technically remain a virgin, that is a lie for the most part.  They’ve been told that you can’t get pregnant having oral and anal sex, so it’s safe.  Oral or anal sex is still sex and it involves your emotions as well as your body.  When you give yourself that way to a man, you are still giving him a part of yourself and you will have all the emotional ties to him as if you had a regular sexual relationship.  This is not God’s plan for you and it’s not safe.  God’s plan is for you to save all of yourself for your future husband and not to have given your heart and any part of your body to another man or men.


Before I get further into the safety aspects of oral and anal sex, I want to give you a few stats I uncovered.  Only about a third of women actually enjoy oral sex.  About another third of women even find it to be rather disgusting.  The same statistics apply to men. Not everyone is doing it, contrary to popular belief.  Even fewer women enjoy anal sex and most find it totally disgusting, not to mention, painful.  Many men have the same sentiments.  The reality is that the most enjoyable sex is sex the way God planned it.  One man and one woman having sex together in a monogamous relationship for life.  Any other kind of sex is a far cry from what most women would call fulfilling and enjoyable.  Neither oral, nor anal sex gives the proper stimulation to a woman’s clitoris, which means she is not likely to climax and if she does at all, it’s not as intense as if she had climaxed properly with the man on top rubbing her clitoris as he strokes.  Most other sexual positions don’t give the proper stimulation to the woman’s clitoris.  Other sexual activities and other sexual positions won’t usually bring a woman to orgasm.


The reality is that sex of any kind doesn’t always work for everyone.  Nearly a third of all women can not even have an orgasm during normal sexual intercourse.  The facts are that a man on average can thrust for about 3 to 5 minutes before he climaxes.  Unfortunately, women take about 8-10 minutes to climax with that same thrusting.  In addition to this, even if the man could last long enough, many women still would not be able to climax due to various emotional, mental, or physical complications.  So many women never experience orgasm during sexual intercourse, much less so during oral or anal sex.  Sex is certainly not what you see in the movie theater and it’s not all that it’s made out to be by the secular world.  It’s good when done in the proper relationship in the proper way, as God intended.


Another thing that most young women don’t know about oral and anal sex is that you can still contract some nasty diseases from doing it, even if you don’t have regular sexual relations. Sometimes even close contact with an infected person can spread disease.  Just coming in contact with the semen or blood of an infected person can spread many diseases of this nature. Swallowing even a tiny amount of semen, or experiencing a tiny tear in the anal canal could potentially let you come into contact with a sexually transmitted disease.  Not to mention that women who have anal sex can experience symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome, which can include a loss of control over bowels and other embarrassing events.  Listed below are some other sexually transmitted diseases which can be contracted through oral and anal sex, as well as regular sexual relations.


Gonnorhea is a relatively common sexually transmitted disease that is spread through both normal sexual intercourse and through oral sex. Symptoms develop within a few days to weeks of being exposed to the bacteria that causes this infection. Symptoms include vaginal or penile discharge and painful urination. Genital Herpes is another infection that is spread through sexual intercourse or oral sex and is caused by the herpes simplex virus. Symptoms usually appear within several days to three weeks after exposure to an infected person. Symptoms include itching and burning of the genitals associated with the characteristic blisters. It’s important to note this infection may be transmitted to another person even if the infected person has no symptoms. There is no cure for this sexually transmitted disease.


Chlamydia is an infection that is caused by a bacteria that’s spread through either vaginal or anal intercourse with a person carrying the bacteria. Symptoms include vaginal or penile discharge, painful urination, and vague abdominal pain. Some women having this infection have no symptoms. But undiagnosed, asymptomatic Chlamydia infections play a key role in infertility in a female of reproductive age. If you want to have children later, this disease is one you don’t want to contract.


HIV (the Aids Virus) is probably one of the most known forms of sexually transmitted disease. The HIV virus is spread through transfer of bodily fluids during sexual intercourse, anal intercourse, sometimes oral intercourse, as well as through breastfeeding, blood transfusions and I.V. drug use. It’s caused by a virus that suppresses the immune system causing the infected person to develop a variety of difficult to treat secondary infections. Symptoms include weight loss, fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, night sweats, fever, and loss of appetite. There is no cure. This disease could affect your children as well as yourself, so sex of any kind outside of a monogamous marital relationship is not wise.


Syphillis is a sexually transmitted infection that is caused by a bacteria which is spread through vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Symptoms generally appear from one week to three months after exposure to an infected person and include a painless sore at the point of contact. The infected person may go on to develop a rash, itching, and body aches. If untreated at this stage, the infected person can go on to develop serious symptoms within a decade or two including blindness, mental instability, and heart disease. If treated during the early stages, Syphillis may be cured. Once it enters its later stages, a cure is not likely.


Genital Warts is a sexually transmitted disease that is caused by the HPV or Human Papilloma Virus. If transmitted by anal intercourse, the warts may be found in the anal region or if transmitted by oral sex in and around the mouth. They cause characteristic warts which may be present on the genitalia of both males and females. Warts generally appear within three months of contact with an infected person. If a woman is infected with this virus, it will likely increase her risk of cervical cancer and pregnancy related problems. This is another one that may not only cause problems for you, but for your children as well.


Scabies and Crabs are sexually transmitted as well and can be gotten just from having close contact with a person who has them.  Scabies is caused by a tiny mite and is transmitted by sexual contact or exposure to an infected individual’s towels or clothing. Symptoms include a characteristic rash and intense itching. Crabs are caused by lice and are generally spread through sexual contact with an infected person. Symptoms include intense itching and the appearance of small crab nits or eggs attached to pubic hairs.


In closing, I would just like to remind those who care about their virginity, that having oral and anal sex is not as safe as some would have you believe.  You can contract many sexually transmitted diseases through either or both, whether or not you have vaginal sexual intercourse as well.  You may not get pregnant now, but some of these diseases can keep you from getting pregnant later when you want to have a child.  I would also caution, that even if you use a condom, most will break, given half a chance, leaving you vulnerable.  So if your partner tries to persuade you to have any kind of sex with some incomplete or downright false information, let him know that you know the truth and that you want to keep your virginity intact and your body and emotions whole for your future husband.



About mamaheartfilled

I am a mother of eight wonderfully challenging children and fourteen grandkids, of whom I am very proud. I am also a bi-vocational ordained evangelical minister, and a Christian Counselor. I received my B.S. degree in 2004, studying primarily in the areas of Psychology, with minors in Religion and English. I received my Masters Degree in 2009 in Psychological Counseling with an emphasis in Christian Counseling. I have endeavored to paraphrase the Bible, both Old and New Testaments. It is my hope that it will be of some use in the great commission of Christ. My ministry is primarily geared toward victims of sexual and domestic violence, including victims of childhood sexual abuse, whether currently or in the past. Since I have personally experienced the healing hand of God in overcoming many of the life issues that Christians may face, I feel qualified and compelled to discuss them in a truthful and open manner, as God’s word tells us that “We shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free.” God has brought me through such diverse tribulations as sexual, physical, and mental abuse, being a victim of a drunk driving accident, spousal pornography addiction, adultery, divorce, remarriage, a very brief, though unjust, incarceration, and having experienced multiple miscarriages and various other trials. I have been asked to leave two Southern Baptist Churches, due to my being a female, ordained as a minister, and fired from a SBC sponsored Christian School (mostly white) for speaking out against racial prejudice in the Family of God. Through God’s merciful forgiveness of my own sins and inadequacies and God’s grace given to me to forgive those who have been a stumbling block to me, I have overcome many of these adversities. God’s word tells us that “All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to the purposes of God." Since I have this hope, I believe that God has blessed me with the ability to confront and relate these issues to the Christian community around the world. I hope to be able to use my personal experiences as a ministry of God’s grace and in the comforting of the people of God with the truth of God's mercy. I claim II Corinthians 1: 3 & 4 as my calling, which states: “Blessed be God, the Origin of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Origin of mercies, and the God of comfort; who comforts us in all our troubles, that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble, by the comfort we ourselves have been given by God.” As I have received the gift of God’s healing, I hope to be able to bring the peace beyond understanding to others with the message of God’s mercy and grace. My love for the Sovereign Lord of my life, Jesus Christ, along with my passion for writing has drawn me to explore these commonly experienced crisis issues from the perspective of my own experience in the hope that I may bring an empathetic and compassionate insight to God’s people. I am now a published author and have several books in publication, including my autobiography, "A Little Redneck Theology." The views expressed in my writings are strictly my own insights, acquired from personal experience and diligent study of the related topics and God’s word concerning them. Though I am an ordained minister, my views should not be considered authoritative. I believe that the Christian community’s ultimate authority is the guidance of the human heart by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.
This entry was posted in children, Christian Women, counseling, Health and Safety, Marriage and Family, Parenting, Sexual Assault, sexuality and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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