One of the things that has influenced me the most is hearing others’ survivor stories. These stories have impressed on my heart how great the need is for healing and forgiveness, even for long time survivors of childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and domestic violence. Forgiveness is for the survivors, not the perpetrators, and it is between them and God. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation with the perpetrator, nor does it mean that survivors can’t press charges when a law was broken. Even when forgiveness takes place in the heart of survivors and their families, the perpetrator must still face the consequences of his sin, and sometimes that means separation, divorce, and even facing the law and its consequences when they have been broken.
One of the most important things I have learned over the years is that survivors need to know they are not alone, and hear that others have experienced similar or worse things than they have and made it through it with God’s help. Knowing you are not alone in what you have experienced somehow helps victims to overcome some of the devastating effects of abuse. In light of that, I want to share some of the stories I have heard over the years. The Bible says that there is nothing hid that won’t be uncovered and nothing secret that won’t become known. It also tells us that we will know the truth and the truth will set us free. Telling these stories can only serve to bring the darkness into the light and expose it for the evil it is. I have changed the names, some circumstances, and any identifying information in these stories so as not to infringe on anyone’s privacy. If you have a story to tell others, especially if you can tell how God has brought you through it, please email it to me at Christiancounselor@jesuslovesu2.every1.net and I will consider adding it to these stories.
Ruth Anne’s Story
I was only about eight years old that day that daddy was drunk. He called me over to him out in the yard that day and said, “I want to show you how to be a wife. You need to know what to do when you get married.” I remember how he put his hand so deep inside me that I was standing on my tip toes, screaming, “Daddy, please stop! Daddy, please stop! I remember how bad it hurt and how I kept begging him to stop, but he wouldn’t. I never got over that and no one ever did anything about it. Years later, I caught my brother molesting my daughter and when I told my mother she said I was crazy. I couldn’t get anyone to help me.
I was about five years old when my fifteen year old baby sitter had sex with me. She said she was going to teach me how to be a man. I didn’t know it was sexual abuse. I thought it was just something kids do.
My daughter was just about four years old when me and my husband split up. He would sometimes get her on the weekends and bring her home on Sunday nights. One day her daycare worker told me my little girl was telling her about some things my husband was doing to her but I didn’t believe her at first. I found out later that he had been molesting her whenever he had gotten her on the weekends. One weekend he brought her back home and laid her on the couch and left quickly, saying she was sick. She wasn’t getting any better the next day so I took her to the doctor. I found out she had mononucleosis, the kissing disease (Sexually Transmitted Disease that you can get from kissing and oral sex). She never really got well from the mono and then we found out she had leukemia. I found out later that on the weekend she had first become sick, that he had made her sleep in the barn with only a sheet for cover and it was very cold that weekend. She died a little while later of the Leukemia. My husband later committed suicide and left a letter for me with his second wife, but she wouldn’t give it to me so I never got to read it. I think he must have confessed what he had done in it and when she read it, she decided not to give it to me.
An Old Woman’s Story
About twenty years ago, I got a call one day saying my daughter was in the emergency room. I rushed to the hospital wondering what it was this time. Her husband, Steven, had beaten her up several times before, so I suspected it was him again. When I got to the hospital, my daughter was on the way to get x-rays and I was able to walk with her part of the way. She looked up at me and said, “Mama, Steven did this to me.” They pushed her into the x-ray room and that was the last time I saw her alive. A little while later her doctor found me in the waiting room and told me that she had just had a brain hemorrhage and had died from it. I asked him, “If her husband hit her would it make this happen?” He answered, “One blow in the right spot would have done it.” Her husband was the best friend of the Sherriff at that time and never served a day in jail.
I was walking home from school one day when I was about 10 years old. I saw a gang of boys coming towards me and the next thing I knew they were dragging me into an abandoned building across the street. They pulled my pants off and several of them raped me. I don’t remember everything, but I have flashbacks sometimes. It was awful.
- A Christian Response to Childhood Sexual Abuse (gofishministries.wordpress.com)